Wife : What are you doing?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour.
Husband : I was looking for the expiry date.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure! What are my choices?
Wife : Yes or no.
***
Wife : You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how great,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can
there be greater than this one?
***
Stress Reliever Girl : When we get married, I want to share all your
worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy : It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't
have any worries or troubles.
Girl : Well, that's because we aren't married yet.
***
Son : Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning,
he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom : Well, you have done the right thing.
Son : But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
***
A newly married man asked his wife : "Would you have married me if my
father hadn't left me a fortune ?"
The woman replied sweetly : " Honey, I'd have married you,
NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!
***
Girl to her boyfriend : One kiss and I'll be yours forever
The guy replies : Thanks for the early warning.
***
A wife asked her husband :
" What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body ?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied :
"I like your sense of humor !"
